Early Letters from Sister Mary Agnes (Pamela Chalkley)
In 1972, I became acquainted with the Poor Clare nun Sister Mary Agnes through occasionally assisting Norman Hidden, publisher of Workshop Press which specialized in poetry. Pam's book, Daffodils in Ice, was a hit. Our correspondence went on for years and ceased only long after she had left the convent. At the time of these letters, I had also published my first chapbook, Wolfprints, and was attempting to live by writing poetry with the help of savings from time spent working as a programmer in New York at Columbia University and a small British Arts Council bursary. In London I shared a flat with others but in Northumberland I had the lease on a remote farmhouse, Roughside, on the moors near Kielder Forest.
see also: White Harvest
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addressed to:
Dick Russell, Esq.,
9B Hyde Park Mansions
Cabbell Street,
N.W.1
postmarked 4 Oct 1972, Lynton and
Lynmouth, Devon
written on Monastery of Poor
Clares embossed stationery.
Dear
Dick
Thank
you very much for “Kanti”. I’m
thrilled with – certainly don’t want it re-written! (I got an awful thought that you might think that was why
I’d returned “Caves” – but it certainly wasn’t & and I found by typing it I
got to know it well)
Such
a relief to hear you so obviously happy & getting a kick out of your new
life. I’m so glad. I never really thought you’d ever enjoy
the work - & even discover you’d talents in that direction too. The first part of “Kanti” suited
the situation, I thought – almost as though you’d just written it – (rather
proves your theory is valid.) I’m
most interested in your suggestion & theory about making a sequence of the
short poems – I shall certainly try, as you say – even the shorter ones can,
with a little more time & work, be developed & there is bound to be a
certain amount of continuity as they are all reactions of a single
individual. Thank you very
much for the idea. I suppose
the fact that I rarely have much longer than ½ hr. at a time to work at them is
my most serious disadvantage – anyhow you can’t have it all ways. Sometimes I make up in intensity what
(you ERASED) I lack in time. I’m
rather intrigued about your remark that “a poet revisits his own ideas”. I tried to analyze myself about this –
perhaps it differs with people – but I think I rather tend to be looking for
something new & leave the past – as though I were always changing – in fact
I sometimes feel I am & if I remember myself as I was when young. I I’ve a rather longer span to
re-visit. Thank you! born in 1928 – makes me 44! I can hardly believe I’m the same
person. So much has happened in
between. All the same perhaps
unconsciously I may go back – actually, if not overdone, I think it is good to
- & has a deepening effect. –
Yes I very much like your whole idea - & think my work will gain if I
attempt it – its given me quite a new impetus.
By
the way – yes do drop one of my names if you like. (both if you like just say sister) But you had better put
Agnes on the envelope as we all have the same name “Mary” – the wrong person
might get the letter - I just
write S.M.A. for speed – put that if it’s easier. The TV programme is going to take place after the
appointment of the new poet laureate.
(They must think its going to be me.) The BBC gave my mother a private viewing at the studios
& also made a film to fit our projector (they’re pleased with it) I never thought they’d take such a
personal interest. They seem to
think November will be when the Poet Laureate is named.
Now I return to your “revisiting of ideas” & on 2nd thoughts I
suppose I do this a lot really – perhaps not when I’m actually writing but
during our long hours of meditation every day. I’ve a horror of being chained to anything probably a
psychologist could explain. Your
whole life will be spent reading this, if I go on much longer.
By
the way – have you travelled quite a lot – or just read a lot? (I hope you don’t mind my asking). Your poems sound as though you’ve
travelled but or may be what you’ve gleaned while translating. You remind me a bit of some of the
Americans I’ve known. I liked
their informality & frankness.
I
love your descriptions of skies & landscapes, in fact the whole vividness
of your imagination, so full of surprises & almost contradictions. Thanks again for Kanti. Sincerely SMA -
addressed to:
Dick Russell, Esq.,
9B Hyde Park Mansions
Cabbell Street,
N.W.1
postmarked 24 Nov 1972, Lynton and
Lynmouth, Devon
written on one page back and front
Monastery
of Poor Clares
Lynton
North
Devon
Dear
Dick
I
wonder how you’re getting on – and what part of the globe you are living in at
present? I’ve addressed this to
London & hope it will eventually reach you. I’ve kept wandering about you & do hope things are going
well.
After
the TV I got lots of letters & Daffodils was sold out & gone into a 2nd.
Edition due out in 3 weeks – at 40p – so I’m enjoying my little bit of
sunshine!
Did
you know Joyce got her M.A.? & Norman’s anthology Say It Aloud (Hutchinson)
is now sale. They went to a meal
at my sisters so I spoke to them on the
phone.
It’s
very cold here – but probably colder still where you are – if you’re in the North.
Michael
Johnson’s poems were read on 10th Nov. at the Poetry Society.
How’s
your writing going? Are you
getting time to work at it & experiment as you felt the need. I often look at my 2 favorites in Wolfprints & your other poems too.
I
purposely didn’t write earlier. I
didn’t want you to feel obliged – please never feel that & be assured I
shan’t forget you even if you never write again - & I wanted to tell you
this.
All
the best
Yours
Sr. Mary Agne
addressed to:
Dick Russell, Esq.,
9B Hyde Park Mansions
Cabbell Street, London
postmarked 7 Dec 1972, Lynton and Lynmouth
Monastery of Poor Clares
Lynton, N. Devon
she wrote (I never know the
date)
Pool old Dick
I'm so sorry about the 'flu.
I wish i could come and make your bed or something useful. But as I
can't, perhaps an extra letter might help.
I did enjoy yours - telling me so
much about yourself - past & present, which I loved hearing. It's
good news you're getting a little more affluent - what better use for money -
than to hear more music. I love music. We have a record player
& are allowed to use it on Sunday afternoons for an hour. I think
Beethoven's my very favorite but I like a variety. I wish I could play
some instrument (preferably a cello) but as I say I can't. I stick to
trying to write music in poetry (I'm delighted you like the latest.)
I have a window in my cell - the
view is magnificent, hills and trees & wonderful sunsets. There's a
cypress tree right outside the window (not that I'd expect it to be inside) I
love watching it. You can learn so much from watching things &
listening to them.
I could paint - any medium - if I
wanted - but I've discovered that there's not enough time to concentrate on
more than one art, so regretfully I leave the painting - poetry is more
practical here - as you can settle down without a lot of palaver and get
straight on.
I think people who educate
themselves are greatly to be admired, it's so much harder. You should
never be ashamed of being poor. People whose opinion of you would be
altered because of your suit aren't worth bothering about. People must
accept us as we are. (Perhaps someone might buy you another with a bit of
luck!). I think on the whole people are a bit less snobbish than they
used to be. We weren't specially well off, my parents were both doctors
but were divorced when we were children (2 sisters and myself) so my mother
brought us up - so we weren't nearly as "comfortable: financially - but we
did have a lot of fun together. I went (after school) to an an Art School
for a year, then the Central School of Speech & Drama (it was at the Albert
Hall & we used to hear concert rehearsals & Yehudi Menuhin practising)
- there I met a Parisian girl who invited me to spend summer with them &
persuaded me to go to the Sorbonne - so I went there (one year) intending
to return and study Russia - but I came here instead. But like you - I
loved the freedom.
You asked about the "6th
Dimension". It's the only way I can describe a rather wonderful
freedom we experience in this life - free even from yourself & you find a
whole new world & set of values. That's why I feel (though it;s
something realer than just feeling) happy. When I was about 17 i had an
awful nervous depression it last at least 2 years. It was so frightening
I daren't try to relive it - somehow I learnt so much from it that I'm almost
glad now - & know I appreciate happiness far more as a result - also it
helped me to understand suffering in other people - now - I didn't really mean
to tell you all this. I hope you don't mind.
When I lived in France I knew it
as well as English & used to think in French. I still read it easily
- but my accent's so bad I wouldn't speak even if I got the chance! Would
you be able to read enough to understand French poetry - (if I'm allowed!) -
& were to send you an Anthology?
I get easily influenced too, so
read very widely then there's not too much of another person evident!
I really must stop.
Do you you're better again - also
that you have friends you can talk with & be yourself with. I'm
writing in the semi-dark - so it's even worse than usual!
Sr.. Mary Agnes
addressed to:
Dick Russell, Esq.,
9B Hyde Park Mansions
Cabbell Street, London
postmarked 14 Dec 1972, Lynton and
Lynmouth
Monastery of Poor Clares
Lynton
N. Devon
written on 5 half sheets of paper
front and back – actually two different letters posted at the same time.
Dear Dick
Everyone seems to send Christmas
greetings early. So here are mine!
Thank you for your very
interesting letter. Yes, I agree
about Mail – I love this form of contact too & always find it much easier
to express myself on paper than in person, it helps to get my own thoughts
clear too. How interesting about Paul
Celan’s poems. I’m so glad you
liked my last – I really was rather please with it. I enclose another long one (your theory worked on again – I
mean joining several shorts). Yes,
I write very many – I can’t always judge my poetic temperature, so to speak – I
can’t always tell till quite a lot later whether I think a poem has any value –
except occasionally when it strikes me immediately as being something complete.
About the Anthology – quite OK –
I’d have sent you it but if you don’t know any French there’s no point! Just thought you might enjoy reading
them. Translating is quite helpful
– but I always feel impatient to
get on with my own work!
I do want to publish another
collection sometime – just biding my time for a bit & exulting in a little
present success hard come by and rare.
I sent some to Gollanz a month ago – nothing’s happened yet & anyhow
I just don’t expect it too.
We do have to choose our records
in turns! Fortunately only about 4
of us turn up regularly & we have rather the same taste – anyhow most of
the records are nice – if its something I can’t bear I go away & get on
with poems. We see newspapers have
a transistor – but this is mainly for the time signal – occasionally we listen,
by request for something specially interesting. Its only recently we’ve been allowed to write letters as
freely as we do now. When I first
came it was only 4 times a year for the family & if friends wrote you could
only answer at Christmas!
I was so interested about Joanna
going to the Central. Is she an
actress now? Its about as hard to
get on in that career as
poetry. was in the same
group as Claire Bloom, but she’s the only one who’s had any success.
I’m so glad to hear about
Naomi. Perhaps she’ll go to
Inverness (excuse change of paper) for Christmas & you’d get a lovely
holiday up there. Is she
intending to teach after? Perhaps
she’s not decided yet. Now I’ll
have to start praying she gets impressed by you (I should have thought she’d
find a poet rather romantic -) & that she develops a taste for writing long
letters.
I wonder if you’re better – when
you said “someone’s going to the post”.
In wondered if you might still be in bed –
On big feast like Christmas we’re
allowed to talk freely all day (usually we only do this at recreation time) even
during meals. It’s quite a relief,
somehow you feel more human after.
It’s very strange to hear people talking & laughing all over the
house.
What a pity you had to dispose of
all your books.
Must stop
love
Sr. Mary Agnes
I hope your scattered friends all
write to you often
Monastery
of Poor Clares
Lynton
N.
Devon
Dear
Dick
You’ll
wonder what the feminine articles are in aid of! As I’ve nothing at all suitable for you at Xmas, I wondered
if these would be any good – to send Naomi? & perhaps get a letter of thanks in consequence! Anyhow here they are & I’m sure
you’ll fine someone to give them to even if its only the char (who’d probably
be touched to get something).
I hadn’t thought of it last time & had just resigned myself to having
nothing to offer.
Will
you have friends with you at Christmas?
I hope so. I’d hate to
think of you being alone. Anyhow
I’ll be thinking of you a lot if that’s any consolation!! All the best
S.
M. A.
Do
you like Sylvia Plath’s poems?
We’ve quite a good library – mostly religious but some good Art books
& I get poetry send for gifts -
we belong to the public library & another too & can choose what
we like, freely)
PS
– Verlaine used to live in the hotel where I lodged some of the time in Paris –
I don’t think it had been cleaned since – mice used to run over my pillow at
night even if I kept the light on – but it was cheap & we were only allowed
£10 out of the country in those days.
Of course we had to live on the black market – I enjoyed being free like
that ----- I love V’s poems & Rimbaud’s
too---do you?
S.M.A
p4
of your poem is v. rich & colourful.
I’m sure if your tried you’d be a good painter. It’s v. relaxing & engrossing &
rests the mind if you’ve worked too hard at poems a lot. We’re both colour conscious,
aren’t we.
addressed to:
Dick Russell, Esq.,
9B Hyde Park Mansions
Cabbell Street
London, N.W.1
postmarked 2 Jan 1973, Lynton and Lynmouth,
Devon
written on two half sheet of plain
paper both sides
Monastery
of Poor Clares
Lynton
N.
Devon
2
– 1 - 73
Dear
Dick
It
was so lovely to get your letter on New Year’s day - I was helping with preparations for a party we were having
in the evening, but stopped to read your letter. No need to apologize for not writing – I didn’t really
expect you to & anyhow always hope you’ll only do so – or know you can – if
you want to or need to – I mean never worry that I’ll be hurt if you don’t – I
shan’t, though might feel a bit worried about what had happened to you if the
wait was too long – then I’d write & enquire.
I
felt worried to hear of your “mental dullness” – then thought it is probably
just the after-effects of flu, which can go on quite a long time. I hope so. I hope too ’73 will have something definite in store for
you. There’s a limit to the
amount of waiting we can endure, if it goes on too long we get an inferiority
complex.
I’ve
not much news either. I got a
lovely record for Christmas (Mozart Quintet for Piano & Wind Instruments
& Beethoven’s ( quintet for piano & wind instruments) & made the
most of the feast days – to get it played at least 3 times everyone was so busy
talking, the record player was free.
You’d love it – (the record, I mean).
Thank
you for all you said about my poems!
Everyone
here has a cold (not me, I hardly ever get them & as a result get landed
with all the work!).
Sometimes
I find I get a whole morning free for writing I’m not as successful as if I
only get a few minutes. Do you
ever find this! Not that I often
get a whole morning – just festal seasons like Christmas.
It’s
lovely and mild here, I can hear a bird singing & the tips of bulbs are
beginning to appear.
Sorry
this is so uninteresting anyhow it’ll be something to read on your way to work! The nuns often ask how you are
Love
Sr.
M Agnes
addressed to:
D Russell, Esq.,
Roughside
Tarset
Hexham
Northumberland
postmarked 17 Jan 1973, Lynton and
Lynmouth, Devon
written on a half sheet of plain
paper both sides
Monastery
of Poor Clares
Lynton
N.
Devon
Dear
Dick
I
was so pleased to hear from you – our letters crossed. I’m sending an extra one, as you’re off
work. I love the poem to Jo. Thank you.
I
do hope you’ll go to France. It’d
be such a lovely break. Yes. I feel it might be your home country
too. Somehow the people take art
more seriously there. The whole
atmosphere would suit you – at least, unless its changed a lot – as it may well
have done.
I’m
glad you spoke to Norman. Joyce is
back at college again. I may start
to learn enamelling. I’d love to.
Just
off to cook supper – tomato flan (I hope)
Love
Sr.
M Agnes
P.S.
I’m going on another TV programme!
West Region.
