Act 2, Scene 2
Catullus Bursts In

A Work in Progress
87

Catullus bursts in.   Briseis puts on a blond wig

Catullus: 

What Trumpist turd wrote this crap for me to say

a scroll snaps shut and is thrown at Donal

you Irish git get me some tea it’s in the play

I’m playing this part under protest for fuck all.

Lesbia here! I’ve been set up by that scumbag Hughes

Who thinks conflict between us is the way

To progress a script reconcile me with her big boobs

It’s never going to happen. I’ve had my say.”

Lesbia:

They made me read your awful poetry to train me for this part, you poseur.  I’d have wiped my asshole with it in the privy so don’t send more.  I think you’re a poofter and a cock sucker and I was just for show.  Well, I’m no gay icon so go stuff this up your arse.

Briseis throws the scroll back at him.  Donal had caught it and placed it within her reach.

Catullus dodges.  The scroll hits the wall behind him and falls to the floor.

Catullus:

Leave my sight.  I’ll have no barbarian abide my wooing.

Donal

I’m here to stay.  I’m in the play.  And you’ll not disrespect my person or hers.  All us avatars are in the union.

Catullus:

The union.  Hah.  Caesar has no truck with unions.  My father dines with Caesar so beware.

Lesbia:

Yes, your father took me to your secret island and Caesar was there, so beware yourself.  I’m Caesar’s mistress now.  I’ve been passed on.

Catullus:

Women use their bodies as beautiful boys do

in this godless city where there is no shame

My secret island so you’ve been there phew

I can smell the stink of that place on you

Did you rub your cunt on Caesar’s face

That cunt I kissed when it was fragrant still

I can die happy I knew you innocent

You’ll be a bleached blonde thrown aside

Because Caesar likes them ever younger

To feed the cravings of his hunger

Enter H.D. and Richard Aldington, Babette and Glenn Hughes

To be continued

Dick Russell © Richard M Russell

                   2025