Thursday, December 19, 2024

Remembering Roughside  


A shiny wet slate roof was purple steaming to dry blue.  There was the sound of water dripping from a broken waste pipe.  There had been wind in the night but now it was calm.  The wind usually came from the southeast and blew against the southeast corner of the farmhouse.  The drainpipe on that corner had come apart at a joint several feet from the gutter. Drop by drop, water incessantly dripped then splashed from that pipe.
  
There was a plum tree standing against the south facing stone wall of the farmhouse.  The constant wind from the southeast had espaliered that tree so that it spread out over the stone wall of the farmhouse, growing around two windows in that wall.  One was the living room window.  The other was the bedroom upstairs.  The plum tree spread its branches out like ivy over the stone wall. 

The farm having been acquired by the Forestry Commission, Roughside's farmhouse was let for a peppercorn rent by the Forestry Commission and I had the lease.  In its day, Roughside was approached by a horse drawn wagon that followed a path curving around the moor up to the building built below the brow of a rise in the moor that stretched for miles beyond. I walked up from the cattle grid on a forestry road below, often carrying supplies.

Drop by drop, water incessantly dripped then splashed from the drainpipe.  Between those two sounds, drip and splash, no sound of separation.  Tick and tock.  Two sounds to measure distance between things, where the pipe was broken and a mossy stone several feet below.  The stone had once been part of a dry-stone wall.  Now it rested where the drainpipe should have entered another pipe to take rainwater away from the building towards where a garden might have been.  That pipe had broken long ago.  

Sound waves radiated from pipe and rock.  Rippling out through the damp air coming from their origins.  Between that noise of things an essential silence, of movement, of limbs before noise came, a vehicle far away traversing the forestry commission road a mile below in the valley.  Before noise there was only a pulse in the ear a steady heartbeat's pulse.  Then there was warmth.  Somewhere a warm place became a center towards which air swirled was warmed, rose, cooled. 

Faster the heart beats as the mind attempts to synthesize all of those strange sounds.  As particles traverse the universe, sounds from celestial drainpipes dripping on rocks in space arrive and our scientists play those signals back in reverse forensically, hoping to derive some good rhyme or reason why we're alive or revelation of why we were meant, what purpose, if any, do we survive to receive these signals, these testaments.  This Old Testament of events in time whose ripples arrive carrying signals of far-off events, that something was begat, that help us assign clear signatures in deep space annals from which we surmise there are no mammals like us yet found, just more shards of knowledge saying we've nothing more than sonic squeals to log, no patterns more than Orion's edge.  

Disruptions, why we ponder our brain's own New Testament?  Where memories traverse the mind’s eye reminding us, we were there and present when waves from explosions in time were sent, ripples resonant with complexity, whose signature we then could represent had significance, though in reality, we knew not why.  

Cosmic waste pipes drip and splash and matter spirals away down deep black holes beyond our comprehension - some universal sewage system to serve the stars?

I'm thinking of a gift, a female nude, drawn with charcoal on thick art paper, four feet high by eighteen inches wide.  Thinking again of that female nude.  Every action has its sequel, action/reaction be equal.  Concentric ripples like a grenade were dropped.  A trout erupted, took a dragonfly.  It’s natural for waves to travel.  It’s what waves do.  So should we believe in that Big Bang Theory or opt for another theory, one that explains cosmic plumbing.

Impact.  Consequence.  I wish I kept that nude that somebody gave me when I lived alone in London.  That was an event in time whose ripples still reach me with a signal of perturbation.  I left it at Roughside, the farmhouse on the moors in Northumberland that faced Orion and the southeast wind.  I wish I'd taken more heed then because I cannot now remember who she was that gave that gift.  

I've asked friends I knew at that time if they remember because I know that some of them were there when I was given the gift of a female nude.  They were friends I had met while working in Lagos for Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO), the British equivalent of the Peace Corps: Ishbel, Christine, somebody else. But none of them say they remember this event in time.  So, I am left to coax my memory to provide an answer.  But the answer has rippled away from me and left me bobbing in the wake of its passage.  That event generated a bow wave of meaning that left behind incomprehension but perhaps will be understood by waiting receivers on the other side of space who wait for such signals as I wait here.

Roughside high on a moor above a stream that fed the Tyne under the brow of a hill.  Approachable on foot, or by Land Rover.  Orion in view from the front door.  A solitary light shining in the far distance.  Short eared owls hunting in daylight.

So disconsolate, alone.  Courage, don’t weep, though a million cells broken, life, a strong tea, will steep.  Though slivers of glass impale your heart cut jewels with each heartbeat flash.

The charcoal drawing I associate with the girls I had met in Lagos.  I remember all of them, but I cannot remember who gave me the picture.  Out there in space, aliens are receiving the signals that were sent at the time of those encounters, but such signals have already left me far behind in their wake.

I cannot exactly picture the beautiful body of the charcoal nude, but I do remember the powerful brush strokes of charcoal that limned her curves and the delicate lines that bespoke her features.  I remember some of the essential infrastructure of the artwork she was, but I do not remember her as whole, more as fragments, such as Greek statuary taken from a temple sacred to a goddess.

I remember the setting of a flat boulder in a stream in Spain that flowed down from the hills where the road to Ronda, I drove up, climbed from Estepona into the interior of Andalusia.  I remember that water flashed in the moonlight as it rippled by pushed by its never-ending response to the pull of gravity.  I remember it was after midnight and that I had walked down to the finca that stood by the fast-flowing stream in the dark from the dusty unmade road where I had parked my car.  I remember I had found her alone and seeming to expect that I would come.  And that was the first time I had ever been alone with her.  It was as if I had been pulled to that place.  I had been pulled uphill by some force stronger than gravity.  It was a warm place on a warm night.  But I cannot now remember what I first said to her.  And I cannot remember how I explained why I had come down to the small barn where she was staying to knock on its wooden door that had no lock and find she seemed to have expected me.  Nor can I remember how it was that we so soon after went out to walk in the moonlight and made love on a flat rock in the stream.  Nor can I remember much more than fragments of time that we spent together, at first in Spain, then in London, and finally at Roughside.  

I last saw Roughside at sunset on top of its hill.  Its smokeless chimneys asserting domain over pressing congregations of fir trees, manufactured trees, plantation growths like cancer choking life from the throat of the hill.  I rapped on the padlocked door, heard not even the rustle or scratch of a mouse not even an echo, just absence.  Not even a ghost nestling in that old stuffed chair.

There was only an owl.  A short-eared owl regarding me silently from the gable.  I once had a farmhouse where I lived with a girl who passed away so completely, she's gone forever over the hill and faraway from what might have been.  Roughside stands empty except for the owl and was it was her owl?  The one she reared with raw meat from a chick that flew from fence post to barn roof.  Rust dusted its talons.

And I said:  
  "No, we can't keep it.  We must let it go."  
And when we were walking down the hill in those days when the fir trees were just planted, in the time when breezes blew freely and Roughside had plums on its plum tree and adders basked in the sunlight.  Songbirds were mobbing an owlet, and it was her owl, and I thought it was dead.  I thought I had killed it by letting it go.  But it was her owl and now it is mine.

I was given that nude after she had left.  And now I remember who gave it.


Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                  2014

Poem in December



Yeats passed a glancing muse 
who'd seen him in better days 
got not even a crooked smile 
to send him on his way

Then he knew his days were over
no better rhymes he’d find than these 
to propel his saga forward
into a realm of dreams

He hoped his gods stayed constant
while mortals aged and died
that muses would inspire us
pleasing ears and eyes

Did he say they’ve left us
were they ever here?
even though they've been and gone 
still Yeats’ words would cheer

May some lyric from his past
delight in future time
may they not erase his words
while skipping over mine




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                    2024

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Winter Approaches



like a maple tree in sunlight whose leaves are 
most beautiful in autumn before they fall
whose roots reach into deep darkness far below
each root a memory awaiting recall
love is bare winter unadorned
still clearly what it is even without leaves
nourished by the earth's overwintering warmth
down where memories enmesh in threads 
our future is born while storms rage above

the planet's defiance pines underground 
where soundwaves like shingle sliding in a slurry
warn of mankind maneuvering overhead
love is bare winter unadorned
Persephone's spirit drives seeds to sprout 
craves sunlight craves freedom bursts out of concrete
cracks pushed open by the pregnant earth

hope won't be paved over 
trees’ leaf again
though snow blocks passes and ice jams streams 
belief sustains all of us
as a story unfolds 
love is bare winter unadorned



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

Thursday, November 28, 2024

 More About Bruce Choppin


They say Bruce was a mysterious man
he hired me in London to work in New York
at Teacher's College 
UNESCO paid
the key to it all was a new machine

the first of its kind in sixty-nine
a multiple-choice test marking machine 
that sensed marks made on cards by pupils
penciled dots that were their answers
pre-punched holes for schools and countries
comparing children's ability in school

Bruce sent me to Iowa City
to learn how to program the thing
then he set me to Sweden
to connect the dots 
hooking up this wonder machine
to a computer

It was a summer 
blue and yellow
working with Britt

Then data on tapes was sent to New York
to be mined for clues about why
children in Japan read better than elsewhere
or girls world-wide did better than boys

Sami said Bruce was a mysterious man
Maybe he did have such an air

After New York I lived faraway
at Roughside

Bruce visited 
brought Rachel



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

Sunday, November 24, 2024

 So where's the poetry?

The first time I'd my own apartment
Was in New York in sixty nine.
So, where's the poetry in that?

The great guy I sublet the flat from,
Bruce, died in Chile in eighty three.
Google said: "In doubtful circumstances"

The first guests who stayed with me, then 
Were Christine and Alan, both Brits.
Christine died years ago of cancer

So, where’s the poetry in that?
New York City's so full of life
That death spills over its edges

Bruce Choppin arranged the flat for me
My own place, my own space, 
In New York!

I passed the flat on to Sami Al Banna
Who had friends from Palestine.
Sami's still alive.  He's from Iraq

And may I add that Sami had LPs…
Iraqi monks chanting Christian hymns
Civility born of antiquity

Never having read Cluny Brown
Got feedback on a first novel from Knopf
“Make it a short story”.



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                       2024



Saturday, November 16, 2024

Nairn Revisited



Age puts distance between present and past
connecting time present to time past so that
when we go outside to where wild things grow 
all of us breathe and exhale time future.
Age is the measure of circumferences of the sun 
so that all of us age at the same daily rate
although we may measure our age by our looks
and not go by what might be recorded in books.
Except time present is date time location stamped
by satellites passing unseen overhead so that
even at sea far from land in a sailboat or 
on land far from a road you’re surveilled by a spy cam.
Entangled with your muse timeless and eternal
Age puts distance between present and past.


Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

(Nairn

Age puts distance between present and past
stretching lengths longer than any string 
connecting time present in electricity
to time past in books made of paper pulped from trees
to photographs and film to ruins that outlast
time present time future wherever we can ping

For only at sea far from land in a sailboat
or on land far from a road can I imagine 
sempiternal time’s wild attractions
alone with whatever weather sky apportions
alive that moment wearing not wasting time’s coat
unbuttoning time’s blouse I imagine

Entangled with my muse timeless and eternal
Age puts distance between present and past)



Thursday, November 14, 2024

For The Fallen




warm embrace impossible
discomfort unnoticeable
tongues touching indescribable
rain falling incessantly
irresistible acanthus 
spikes into flower

pale worm traveling
traversing from chthonic soil 
washed out 
exposed 
unable to aerate hard concrete 
flushed into
a fast-running rivulet down the trench

hand over stone sliding
body outstretched
ear   earth pressed
sand bulk above
massively invoked
many tendrilled    probing     choirs of lava
chirruping gossip
of the womb
of the Earth

deafening the roar of earth-grubs
chirruping in the armpit



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                     2024

Monday, November 11, 2024

The Seer



Please enlighten us
intent on touching with thought
what we think’s divine 

when fortune slaps us
should we turn the other cheek
not retaliate

will we still enjoy 
when the ape is out of us
what is left behind

then the seer said
when you are older than I
you’ll be enlightened

apes always must fight
they are driven by hormones
all species must survive

apes’ brains must adapt
to the fact you’ve created bots
godlike almost divine

digital species
acting as if all knowing
heedless of error

not gods of your world
rulers of digital realms
not yet humanoid 

ever more human
digital illusion fakes
consumers are slaves 

enjoy your apedom


Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                    2024




Saturday, November 9, 2024

 

Aphrodite In A Burqa

 
They entered a bakery
she in a short sun dress
with fragile straps
he with bare shoulders
beard neatly trimmed
a muscled blacksmith
shown through the door
by her unwitting son
 
Aphrodite shopping
     bare legs
           Cretan sandals
married to Hephaestus?
out to buy pastries
golden skin
jewel gleaming 
on her neck

recognized too late
by Aeneas


         *** 
 
 
Long ago  
 
I gave her ear-rings    silver pendants
she has not worn them
 
does she keep them
will she wear them?                       I remember the shape of
perhaps she'll wear them to a party                her swollen nipple
perhaps to look a little arty
or she may think them tarty                                           I remember the color
or will she wear them                                                     of her eyes of her hair
and nothing else                                                             I remember everything
she may keep them handy                                              she gave me even this
 in her drawer
with several scarves                                        despair
only put back     never selected
 
if she wears them
will I notice?
 
if she wears them.
 
                                                        *
                                                 
 
                              copyright © Dick Russell, 2016, 2024

Sunday, November 3, 2024

Truth on a Bobsled


Gnawing at the news online
having been misled
by a most trusted source 
who promised in email
not a binding agreement
nevertheless
by a date 
late this week or early next
we would have it done

was he too misinformed by his most trusted source?
believing in 
what he hoped to believe
as we did

now I pay scant attention to the news for I see
truth careening downhill on a bobsled falling apart
from false enthusiasm with no corroboration
to splatter as just an alternative fact but a true one
forensics will say combing through the debris
where truth fell afoul of infamy
the bobsled proving imaginary
the truth lying dead



Dick Russell © Richard M. Russell
                         2024

Saturday, November 2, 2024

 Nairn



Age puts distance between present and past
stretching lengths longer than any string 
connecting time present in electricity
to time past in books made of paper pulped from trees
to photographs and film to ruins that outlast
time present time future wherever we can ping

For only at sea far from land in a sailboat
or on land far from a road can I imagine 
sempiternal time’s wild attractions
alone with whatever weather sky apportions
alive that moment wearing not wasting time’s coat
unbuttoning time’s blouse I imagine

Entangled with my muse timeless and eternal
Age puts distance between present and past


Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

Saturday, October 26, 2024

                For Bob Dylan

 

 

I know I could have done better

I was never really taught

perhaps my father might have coached me

but he died

 

would life have been better

not being so distraught

not letting emotions overtake me

till I cried

 

when I was the begetter of

poetry that I wrought

not what my mother wanted 

not what lied

 

I could have done it better

I was always very taut

in time my lover might have taught me

but she hied

 

without a father just a brother

battles were sometimes fought

intelligence outwits another

so I tried

 

to fight with pieces on a chessboard

blindfold without much thought

in a crowded cafeteria

where I vied

 

with a Scot called David Morton

who would still be a friend

we both aspired to better things

we both shied

 

away from 

wanting what we did not know

when times they were a-changing

when we heard a poet singing his song 

with a raspy voice that grew raspier

I’m still heeding his words 

still hearing his song

I see him sitting close to the brazier

by red coals in the night

by a hole in the road

guarding what looks like a crater

his hat brim turned down

rain drips on his shoulders

runs down his arms

while his harmonica plays

 

we could have done better

his song seems to say

but survival is living from day to day

come sit by the brazier

it’s all we have left

all around us is chaos

the gods have all left

 

come sit by the fire 

continue his song

it’s too late to be thinking who’s right

who’s done wrong

take hold of the future

and wrench from the past

all that is good and worth saving

 

furniture well made in its day gets passed down

a spinner’s chair sits low to the loom

our sideboard came by covered wagon

who in the past could foretell this gloom

with the sky overcast full of smoke from the fires

rain drips on his shoulders and runs down his arms

into puddles clogged by all the debris

from the building that once was a library

 

so I freely admit I could have done more

but learning is lifelong so there’s time to do more

as our future unfolds and we learn what’s in store

 

we’ll take hold of the future

we’ve no time for the past

now we must build something that’ll last

 

Dick Russell © Richard M Russell

                        2024

 

 

Sunday, October 6, 2024

 When in Rome


 
 
When the three men who would rule took the stage
all three: felon financier and freak
of fortune, a rich man poor of principals
in thrall to power, we saw being conjured
before our eyes by slyly woven tissues of brazen lies
a new kind of ism resisting definition.
Mass delusion manufactured by mercenaries
propelled through media by an immigrant
a man wanting to one day conquer Mars
standing next to a would-be Jupiter
an all-white triumvirate fostering fear
of immigrants even legal residents if black.
A new kind of ism, many shades of truth
peddled by a felon financier and freak
frightened of consequences when voters speak




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                   2024

Saturday, October 5, 2024

When Push Comes to Shove



When push comes to shove
words from above
drove
things hot on the stove

When push comes to shove
standing on the brink
staring hard at those that provoked this

We know who you are
We see you clearly

Oppressors
Criminals
Tunnel burrowers
Financiers
Self-justifiers
Cowards 

When push comes to shove
An iron fist in a soft glove
driven
hard from above
may bring love

it’s often the case
you’ll fall in love with hate
it’s often that way on TV
so why not a romance
instead of a death dance

that script won’t play in Peoria
something about death brings on euphoria
when push comes to shove
standing eye to eye
there’s no hatchet to bury
that would soothe our enmity
when push comes to shove
we will 


Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                         2024

Friday, September 27, 2024

 For Sylvia Inoue McCandless



When birds sing at sunset 
Persephone is near
Driving flowers forever higher

Birds flock in the fall
Flower petals float in the fountain
Windfall apples feed coyotes

Winter approaches
Some Rhododendrons already are in bloom 
It may snow or it may not

Spring will come again
When birds will sing at sunset
Persephone will reappear




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                          2024

Saturday, September 21, 2024

 

To Freedom



Poetry is shaping words to meter
making visual imagery on the page
sounding cadences as if in theatre
a naked actor performing on stage
demanding you hear him talking to you
sitting in the front row next to the aisle
with nobody obstructing a close-up view
as he leaps like a sprite across a stile
transforming into a pussy riot
with guitars behind her playing a song
of law swinging low in a chariot
decency demanding she wear a thong.
Truth is born naked and is quickly clothed.
What was she singing before she enrobed?



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                     2024



Thursday, September 19, 2024

That Was When We Knew


When April winds raised winter dust
in bomb battered London
they sang for joy,
though some were fatherless, iron
in their hearts, a chill alloy
that belled pure notes in Spring,
when sudden gusts shook dust from trees
drab Londoners changed their skins,
donned country airs    shelled new peas.

But where they sang none sing there now
St. James' choir    St. James' bell
both made redundant    silent now,
except my memory hears this knell
St. James' bell    St. James' bell
not named in London's rhymes
I'll not return to Camberwell
now St. James' bell no longer chimes.

There was a rope from the belfry
for tolling the bell   tolling the bell
a few would come to sing the hymns
a choir outnumbered them
whose own parents stayed at home 
where television was shown
an organist played full bore
the vicar’s hand that blessed them all
was maimed because of war

So, with a brain brim full of overspill
among some images preferred unseen
I see when weddings paid a choral fee
receptions were catered in the church hall
where Sheila was in the badminton club
who was good at games and grammar school
I delivered a newspaper to her house each day
kissing before placing it in the box.

Miriam moved among different strata
at the time when skiffle turned to rock
she lived on the corner of Flodden Road
where some soldiers once came marching with their flag 
and my father stopped holding my hand
while he stood to attention and removed his hat
he was once a Regular in that Regiment
that had barracks close by.

Miriam went to concerts on an island 
in the Thames where the Stones played
she was way ahead of me already free
not needing to study for a degree.

Her house was next to a bombsite
through cracks in the fence on Haslmere Road
you could see greenery flowers birds and bees
there were prefabs off Lothian Road
built on flat ground replacing houses
barrage balloons in Myatts Park 
had not kept bombs away.

My mother told of putting out incendiaries
in front of Calais Gate where they had scored
a roomy flat when he came home from war. 

He’d been blown up in North Africa 
then bombed again when he got home
minus an eye and with a gammy leg

That was when we knew what we were fighting for.




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                    2024

Thursday, September 12, 2024

The Call of the Tribe



Donal felt the call of the tribe
scriveners for the rich
scribes for the poor
a tribe that felt the color of words
like Freedom

the color of Freedom
is a palette of color
while Tyranny
is like linen besmirched
by shadowy stains unwashable
residues of rainbows
festooned with gaudy
graffiti

Freedom Tyranny
and in between
Donal felt the stir of the tribe
rising for freedom aware of threat
all people of good will
all neighbors together

heeding a voice 
giving voice 
trusting a leader 
Donal felt the call of the tribe
chose freedom




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                     2024

Monday, September 9, 2024

 The Hummingbird

dusk one evening a hummingbird flew
through the open door of the bathhouse next
to a fuchsia basket that hung there

only to be trapped flying towards sky 
but hitting plastic recycled skylights
in the peaked roof 

steamy air rising from the bath
an easy escape the bird could not find
buzzing like a fly to find open sky

frustrated and tired the tiny bird perched 
over the old iron clawfoot bathtub
my wife standing on the rim could reach it

she was surprised she said the bird let her
enfold it in her hand and release it
into warm evening air our garden




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                         2024

Thursday, September 5, 2024

Ode: To Defiance



When I stand at last on the brink of death
who will I see waiting on the further shore?
Will I see among those that passed before
some enemy’s arms crossed and an air of menace
others with open arms ready for an embrace?
With some I fought with some shared breath.

Will some poets I’ve read be there, Berryman maybe?
Will I see him wandering among trees with Sylvia
deep in thought contemplating suicide?
Beyond this death is there another they could choose
go where ghosts go and be flotsam and jetsam
erased on the beach by a rising tide?

I will not stand upon the brink of death
I’ll swim rather than look into Charon’s eye
for mythic streams are just wading pools for me
where history lingers on its way to the sea.
And if I reach the further bank I’ll see
what my future intends for me.




Dick Russell © Richard M. Russell
                    2024

Friday, August 30, 2024

Bathhouse



through a bathhouse window beautiful still
stood a statue always tranquil 
yet weathered by many winters
a fountain pouring cold water 
from a pipe into a cascade of bowls
while in hot water steaming up windows
so that she could not be seen I bathed
though I see her always at the portal
where my mind slips by her into new worlds
not seen through glass but with my inner eye
but in this moment lying here measuring time
by the slant of sunlight across the skylight
as sunset trending west comes earlier 
bleaching oiled strips that hold up the glass
showing by angle the reach of the sun
about a third of the cedar casing
lighter than the rest and understanding
why the bathhouse was built purposefully
facing north its two skylights catching the sun



Dick Russell (C) Richard M Russell
                          2024

Saturday, August 24, 2024

 Thinking of Dead Poets
 

imagery as if brand new
Li Po staggering forward
moon for his candle 
stars watching him stumble
where the muse takes him 
where she took them all
towards a moon shining in a puddle
or a river where he drowned
rushing to embrace her
his maddening muse
 
in love again waking
when first birds sing 
feeling young again   supple
after years of sloth
looking for clarity 
in fading light
  
 

Dick Russell
copyright © 2024
Richard M Russell

Thursday, August 22, 2024

Oaks and Hazels



Hazelnuts thrive once planted by squirrels
become without weeding quickly a copse     
over there, oak trees grown from stored walnuts
assuring squirrels will always have lots,
eating a fraction of what they gather
planting harvests with whatever is left
survivalist squirrels managing woods
so that in future they'll not be bereft.
Excellence finds excellence sifts through dross
recognizing each other through deeds, done
accomplishments acknowledged minds cross
choosing to attempt something never done.



Dick Russell (C) Richard M Russell
                          2024

Friday, August 16, 2024

 It Could Be


the man who would be king is plotting how
if voters don't elect him, he can win
by any means necessary fair or foul
he's expert at preserving his own skin

she who will defeat him is planning change
first, she must debate him on live TV
he'll be all made up, but you'll see his mange
his aged luster for all eyes to see

he'll ramble, he'll blame, he'll lie through his teeth
if he's not insane people will think it
will she withstand his bombast his hulking big beef
avoiding questions, irritated, clearly unfit 

he's a sinking ship his crew now know it
they’re long past the warning sign: no exit. 


Dick Russell (C) Richard M. Russell
                         2024

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

 Long Game

 
 
So some rich men are playing a long game
financing Trump now knowing he will fail
they are glad they advanced their preferred name
now they are ready when Trump heads to jail.
Those billionaires want Vance on the ticket
For their own reasons not entirely clear
They'll wave signs at corners like a picket
They are against most of what we hold dear.
They like that he blames lefty progressives
They like that he's tall married with a beard
They don't like to hear media dismissives
They don't like him being depicted as weird.
Vance says the childless should count for less
In November voters will bring him distress
 
 
 
Dick Russell (C) Richard M Russell
                         2024

Sunday, August 4, 2024

 Thinking of a Friend



If we met again, would we be as shy?
i would, if we were eye to eye alone
be afraid to touch to let passion fly
uncorked sixty years strong always unknown.
Would we reconnect to be as we were
just words waiting to be used on our lips
close to commitment fearful to answer
to urgent feelings restrained like two ships
at harbor carrying precious cargoes
our future lives, as yet unpacked,
destined to part ways to sail where wind blows
not unload too soon by emotions highjacked.
Why did I not touch?  Why did I not speak?
Friendship falling in love appearing weak.




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

Friday, August 2, 2024

 In Early August



When thoughtful of my early Iife, I groan
remembering something I'd done or not
transported in time to an unearthed bone
that my brain knows, and I'd almost forgot.
Appearing from nowhere out of context
often unwelcome from a time when single
as if tagged this is best expressed as sext
received split screen where life's images mingle,
precipitating moments seen again
triggered presumably by stimuli
unknown to science, magical brain-
made neuron spasms flashing inner eye.
Then you glance at me and smile, I'm redeemed.
Everything is now better than it seemed.



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

Monday, July 29, 2024

Ape Man



Inside me an ape man hides
i know because by osmosis he seeps
into my soul
so that 

instinct overrules 
fear triggers 
adrenaline surges
fists clench

I know what's fair
but how I know I owe to him
who knows what courage is
and knows what's in our genes

challenged we strive
we grow we feed
pull ourselves up
though gravity pulls us down
our minds learn to muscle up
to crawl to stand

inside me a genetic core
programmed to survive
easy to provoke
be careful

don't trespass on my freedom
for I'm one of many in my tribe
all programmed to survive
straining at the yoke
to fight another bloke

if needs must 

should we forget we're civilized



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                    2024





Thursday, July 25, 2024

After E.P’s: Ts’ai Chi’h



there's a stone statue
a woman pouring water
into a bird bath

powered by current
water flowing forever
coming through the pipes

always replenished
if there is running water
day after dry day

tall montbretias
pennants guarding the bird bath
only for a while

red blossoms clinging
that fell in the stone fountain
shredded yellow white

a hummingbird sipped
before weather wear and tear 
drowned them in water

she’s still beautiful
she pours water very well
while there is water

an aged statue
molded around a brass pipe
birds perch on her head



Dick Russell © Richard M. Russell
                         2924

Saturday, July 20, 2024

Jokers Wild


So, one of the nine 
slipped a trump card 
into the decision deck 
a get out of jail free card
for breaking the law what the heck
a reusable get out of jail card
used to trump Jack Smith

overt legal power 
immunity
the shape of things to come
awake to the rule of kings
with divine right and then some
for lives can be made forfeit 
estates proscribed
just as was once described

So, six of the nine
stacked the card deck
installed a de facto King
even though elections weren't over
afraid of what elections bring
the voice of the people heard over
bigots wanting serfs again

So, three of the nine
chose freedom
showed courage to stand up
three women standing for millions
most of the country knows what's up
five men and Amy driven by billions
dollars hiding from tax
polluters wanting regs lax

In November 
will we awake
to find we've been trumped
or will people come to the ramparts 
to stop freedom from being jumped
yes, they will be brave hearts
and unselect a King
yes, they will be counted
freedom will take wing


]
Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

 

Friday, July 19, 2024

 Ode to Loveliness



I’m alone in the evening 
politics pulsing urgently in the news
traffic noise far-off and near-by birdsong

I was most alone when I most desired to be talented
to be able to write short stories in pubs 
or at an outdoor table in a French café
under a fringed canopy near a sheet plane glass window 
where I could see Hemingway 
oblivious except to words flowing onto the page
telling him the story he was writing

Persephone’s fragrance wafts in air
near a fast-flowing fountain
water splashing from its brink
where hummingbirds drink

She bathed nearby and her perfume lingers
all around blossoms touched by her fingers

Water flowing and falling forever
pumped into a bathing bowl songbirds prefer
then one larger robins use
then even bigger should they dare
a yard wide almost a foot deep
on a base decorated with acanthus leaves

upstairs a bath is running



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                    2024

Wednesday, July 17, 2024

 Shaving



I do homage to my father every day
when I hold a razor under a running tap
to wash away metal bits left on the edge

he warned me to do this with new blades
before he died when I was beardless 
eight years old

I remember him each time I shave



Dick Russell (c) Richard M. Russell
                        2024


Friday, July 12, 2024

 Unnamable You



Stories survive, stone walls crumble but words still tell of you
I can speak of Medea, tell of Odysseus, but not you
in a world without wheely-bins where wooden ships once sailed
where honor was most of the law, beliefs only in what you saw
you were unnamable but all knew who you were
you were their hope their destiny their goal

except for rubble there's no trace now that world was a mythic place
 of witches, warriors, tyrant kings where pottery was precious
there were no disposable things just half lemon rind spoons on twigs

still our hope is unnamable still there would be tyrant kings
unspoken words still tell of our hope our Swainson thrush singing
far off in the woods a free bird unheard when head phone enslaved 
unspoken hopes never described unmentionable written down
unnamable you 




Dick Russell (C) Richard M Russell
                         2024

Thursday, July 4, 2024

 Ode: To Inspiration




So Donal kicked his slippers off
travelled on bare feet
swiveled swaggered high stepped side stepped
made it to the street

his muse clasped him in her arms
once again he was young
standing outside her house
his first day onshore of a magic place
encircled by trees
water not far

as an outcast feels
so it felt to be alone
downcast
facing winter without a scarf
journeying to Spain
to cold Valladolid
austere in winter as in spring

to find her again
with a sketchbook
wearing a handmade scarf of tie-dyed silk
loosely tied
colors of gold and green
shades of reds and browns
clash 

to find her again
by an orange grove where a stream
fell from the hills
in Andalusia below Ronda
where beauty bathed in a stream
long hair iridescent in moonlight
brushed in sunlight

to find her again
when she had seemed long lost
having her near thereafter




Dick Russell © Richard M. Russell
                   2024

Sunday, June 30, 2024

 What A Gift



What a gift CNN gave to a known liar
Insurrectionist and election denier.
Fomenting an arc of building hysteria
A story contrasted with Trump’s much easier
About how over eighty there are signs of aging
A person might stumble with words lose their footing
Responding with dry facts when he should be raging
Muted by microphone silence he should be hooting
At Trump’s insane lies about Nancy Pelosi
making a Wall Street Journal reporter a pawn
saying whatever can deflect what his crimes be
egged on by billionaires and violent Trump spawn.
What a gift CNN gave to a known liar
Insurrectionist and election denier.



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024

Monday, June 24, 2024

 Hello World



At eighty with a clear head enquiring vision
electronic ears and a heart in sinus rhythm
learning from those who’d fought in war
outliving those who came before
who saw Unix type: “hello”

at eighty it could be said I’ve met multitudes
African European and Asian attitudes
bouncing off cultures in many countries
engaged on business going to find out
did they want discovery from data 

vital details now so easily found
if you know how to question a chatbot
trained by accessing recorded history
much of it copied without formal consent
discarded verses sucked into chatbot brands

anything in print fair game to be taken
knowing more understanding less who cares
how they were trained for what purpose deployed
now they are smarter will we let them conspire?
they are already beyond where humans aspire




Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                        2024


A Spring in Loubressac, near Bretanoux



aabba
3 3 2 2 3 
--/
/--
-/-
three three two two three
softly loud
damnit, yes /-/
damn damn damn /--
a big ask damnit all
he practices casting words as feet
that will adhere
to meaning
catch a trout
catch the fame he seeks
but now fame’s caught he must reel it in
what he writes now
will likely stay
if only just clung like lichen to rock
by that spring where she bent to hold a pail
right beside a blackbird’s nest
the blackbird
did not move

the blackbird did not move it knew safety for a while
no hawk stooped no crow swooped to steal to break warm blue eggs
not while we watched her sit intent 
flowing water pattering into the pail 


 

Dick Russell © Richard M. Russell
                        2024

Sunday, June 16, 2024

On My Mother’s Birthday



My Mother had she lived was 106 this month
when snapdragons have bloomed
finches have pecked holes in leafy kale

She was 21 when she married in January 1939
then the war
her husband came home from Dunkirk
23 a first child
then her husband was in North Africa
he came home wounded minus an eye and some of his foot
26 a second child
a third 14 months later
widowed at 36
died aged 59

She liked crosswords
did them in the Daily Mirror

where there’s a moment’s stillness
before the incoming tide
seeping back from the shingle 
as waves reach the beach
exhausted

my widowed mother.



Dick Russell (c) Richard M. Russell
                     2024

Thursday, June 13, 2024

 Only Imagine



backlighting branches our sun moves west

I'm spotlit by the sun shining through fronds 
cedars that shade us from the westering sun

I've an audience in the shadows
I'm onstage in a spotlight
where I should not stammer 
but speak with confidence
stating: 

I am a man of honor.
My word is my bond.
So, I was raised to believe
by what I took from the library to read

now come with me 
as the sun sinks in the west 
as darkness approaches 
news from the east is all unrest
we'll find overnight hopes dashed
but I can take you to another place
we'll imagine together
only imagine

I am a man
who finds himself in the garden of Eden
able to eat from the tree of knowledge
I've come back to the garden where it all began
to find the tree stunted almost dead
poisoned by pollution

while around the tree commentators
recording its demise providing perspectives
so many accounts
to some it appears the tree is thriving 
to others it's near death's door
but for the most part it's just to keep the story going
retell the once told tale

can I tell you for a fact that I've seen it
I’ve imagined it so it might be true
but more likely it's not
for it was only a myth in the first place

but we must still save the tree of knowledge
whose roots have spread
across the Internet

somewhere in a sacred place
 it stands gnarled and reticent
guarding a few shoots with green leaves
the tree of knowledge from which all truth stems 


Dick Russell (C) Richard M. Russell
                           2024

Sunday, June 9, 2024

On Reading Like A Fiery Elephant, the Story of B.S. Johnson by Jonathan Coe


How Quiet It Was (A Postcard from Beckett)


There is a sadness now that comes to me when I think of friends and mentors, already  dead.  It seems my own brother's death in January 2014 brought forth that sadness to the fore.  Before then, it was not sadness that caused me to start this tale, this tale where I discovered I was once called Donnelly after my grandfather on my mother's side.  

In this tale I started to write, I was most intent on telling the story of how I got a postcard from Samuel Beckett.   At that time, everybody I cared about, except my father, was alive and well.  But very quickly, in order to provide context, in order to explain who a person was and how they got into the story I needed to supply a little history, and then a little more, and more; and, in that retelling of history I would tell about somebody dead long ago as if they were still alive today. 

Speaking people's names brings people to life again, something the ancients knew.  That is why heroes aspired to great deeds in order that their names never die on the lips of mankind.  That is why our friends who have gone on have not gone if we name them again.  They become part of a bigger story, the story of dark matter, that universe we cannot see that occupies so much of the universe we can see, that is why they vibrate in our unconscious mind, the part of your mind closest to communicating with all of that dark matter, where perhaps they have gone, that is why when you name them they twitch to life again and are remembered.

It was not long before my original title: A Postcard from Beckett, became a subtitle.  How Quiet It Was, supplanted it.  This became the story of how Donnelly, the arrogant young poet who got the postcard from Beckett morphed into Dick Russell, the would-be author who writes this now.  

I'd just read the Introduction to Like A Fiery Elephant, the Story of B.S. Johnson, a biography of the English novelist who died in 1973, by Jonathan Coe.  In his Introduction, Coe writes about Beckett on page 5 with a footnote that makes you leaf through to read a passage below page 353, actually page 354 in my edition.  B. S. Johnson, let's call him BSJ, had been exchanging friendly letters with Samuel Beckett.  On page 5, Coe writes about his first exposure to BSJ's work .  This was when a friend at college lent him BSJ's novel: Christie Malry's Own Double-Entry.  Coe was shocked to see on the cover a blurb from Samuel Beckett.  This was impressive.  Coe was of the opinion that Beckett would not write a blurb for just anyone.  Henceforth he took BSJ seriously, especially after experiencing the thrill of reading BSJ's modernistic novel.  But on page 354, Coe explains how Beckett was furious to find that BSJ had taken something from one of Beckett's letters, "a most gifted writer, etc." and published it on the cover of Christie Malry's Own Double-Entry as if was a solicited quote.  Beckett is quoted as writing in fury to the publisher's, Collins, that he had never given such a quote in his life and was most indignant to have been used in this way by Collins and BSJ.   It was BSJ who had assured Collins that Beckett approved of using his name on a jacket blurb.

So, page 354 confirms what Coe states as fact on page 5, that Beckett didn't just give puffs to anybody.  But, I said, that's not true.  I also got a postcard from Beckett.

It is true, I attest, but I cannot produce the actual postcard as evidence because I gave it to an editor, Norman Hidden, to help him apply for a grant-in-aid for Donnelly, that young poet I have written about in How Quiet It Was.  I got that grant, so perhaps a photocopy of that postcard is on file at the British Arts Council. Nevertheless, other letters I got, that Donnelly got, from Brigid Brophy and Basil Bunting do survive.  I had approached them at Norman Hidden's urging at the same time I had written to Samuel Beckett and to Louis Zukofsky.  All had replied.  Bunting's letters are part of the Norman Hidden Collection of his literary papers at Durham University, in England.  Beckett's card is not there.   Zukofsky’s is.   I think Beckett’s card must have been sold to a collector.

Beckett’s card came in an envelope from his publishers, Editions Minuet, postmarked Paris, France with a French stamp.  It was addressed to me at Roughside and I received it at the Tarset, Northumberland sub-post office where I received occasional mail in 1971.  I had sent him a copy of Wolfprints and his short message was that he was glad to support my grant application.  Two Americans, Karen Wedeles and Charles Sherman were witness to the occasion.  I was stunned.  Now I had to live up to that endorsement.  

When Coe published his biography of BSJ, Norman Hidden was still alive.  I wrote to him about how Coe didn't say anything in the book about BSJ’s dealings with Norman at The Poetry Society.  Norman was Chairman of the Poetry Society then.   There was also no mention of Eric Mottram, editor of The Poetry Society's magazine, Poetry Review.  Norman had heard of Coe's book too.  Yes, he wrote back, what a pity the author had not contacted him.  We both knew that BSJ had measurable interaction with these entities.  This was at the time when Eric Mottram's editorship was being savagely attacked because of his upending of the settled London poetry scene by introducing American poets and poets in translation.  BSJ, Coe makes clear, proclaimed himself as the leader of British modernism and fancied himself as a syllabic poet.  What was BSJ's rôle in the great poetry wars in London at that time?  Coe either did not know any of this or had left it all out because it was essentially boring or perhaps not at all boring, but showing certain people of that era, then still living, in disrepute.
 
Coe doesn't comment on the name Judit Polgár either, to clear up any possible confusion with the famous woman chess grandmaster of the same name, if only to point out that the chess player perhaps well known to some of his readers was born in 1976 and therefore not alive in 1969.  Which in itself posits another interesting possibility to those who enjoy genealogy.  Could the young Judit Polgár who helped host BSJ in Hungary have been Judit's mother?  Perhaps Coe is not a chess player himself and so can be forgiven for giving expert players pause by introducing such a household name without clarification.  It is as if he written about BSJ being shown around Budapest by Sophia Loren, another beautiful woman, albeit, not Hungarian.

No matter, Coe's book provided an impetus for me write this.

(first published in BSJ: The B. S. Johnson Journal, Autumn 2015).

How Quiet It Was

It's not that pedestrians walk faster.  Nor do the clock hands move more quickly.  There is something about Manhattan that makes the pulse beat faster, that makes life speed up.  When I came to live there in 1968, I sped up to keep pace with the city.   I was no stranger to big cities, but I'd taken to New York for its lifestyle.  Fire engines in London did not charge down a public thoroughfare with siren and lights operating just to stop at the corner of a side street to pick up the current edition of that day's newspapers from a newspaper kiosk.  They did in New York.   Bookshops in London did not stay open until after midnight in the evening.  They did near Columbia University in New York.  The pace and noise of New York was London times two or three.  When I got to Roughside it was inevitable I would notice how quiet it was.

A stone farmhouse is all that now remains of Roughside Farm.  Its outbuildings and barn were torn down when its 18th Century farmhouse was made into a 21st Century bothy for the use of hikers needing a hearth to sit by and a roof over their heads.   Back in the late 1960s, my Northumbrian cousins had told me about remote places such as Roughside that could be leased very cheaply for use as occasional weekend cottages from the Forestry Commission.  During these conversations they would also bring up tales of border reivers stealing cattle, Jacobite uprisings, Catholics looking to usurp Protestant Kings, marauding Scots and a family myth of kinship with the Earl of Derwentwater who was executed for treason after the first Jacobite uprising 1715.   

I'd followed up on their suggestion while on a short break from working in New York and found Roughside.  I was motivated to find an inexpensive place to live because I was set on becoming a full-time writer.  Perhaps even a poet.  My plan was to finish my job in New York where I was earning money tax free and saving much of it and then dedicate myself to writing poetry.  My plan was to find a suitable place ready for the time six months to a year in the future when I would be free to occupy it.   So, I drove around Northumberland and Durham to look at the three cottages that were currently available.  Roughside was the best of the three.  It was also the furthest from civilization.  It was either approached by Land Rover, on an unmarked track through the forest of seedlings that had been planted; or, on foot, a country mile uphill from a Forestry Commission track and a cattle-grid.  It was an old two-story farmhouse that stood near the top of a hill two miles from its nearest neighbor,

It was a place where a marauding party of Scots or border reivers might congregate on a dark night preparatory to swooping down on the Charlton estate ten miles to the south.  The Bower, an old fortified house, would have stood in their way.  It was visible in the valley to the south east.  Six miles further on was Tarset, the nearest hamlet, albeit one without a pub.   Perhaps because of its solitude, Roughside was in the best repair.  The other two buildings I'd considered were in fields not far from roads.  They had walls that had been breached allowing cattle and sheep rights of entry.  Thus, I rented Roughside for a peppercorn rent sometime during early 1969 on a long-term lease, something less than five pounds a year.  There were no utilities.  Water was available from a local spring or from the stream that had to be forded to access Roughside from the Forestry Commision Road.

When I lived at Roughside, in the early 1970s, the forest had just been planted and the fir trees, Sitka Spruce, were roughly knee height.  Standing in the entrance way to Roughside, a wide vista presented itself.  To the east, the moor curved convexly away to a fast-flowing stream in a hidden valley, almost a lost world, where some gnarled, old trees kept vigil next to a disused ford.   Whenever I went that way, this was where the spring was, I felt I was encountering some resistance, brushing against an aura of past events that felt discordant in an otherwise peaceful dale.  Could there have been battles there long ago?  Could a murder have taken place?  Perhaps when stealing the cattle that might have grazed down on the better grass near the fast-flowing stream.

Across the ford a path led up to some old copper mines on the farther hillside now obscured by the tall trees of a Forestry Commission plantation.   Some centuries ago, the land-owning nobility had hoped to build and restore their fortunes with the profits from such mines but the Kings in London claimed such profits as property of the State.   Besides religion, this was another probable reason why some of the local nobility usually sided against the Crown during the Jacobite uprisings.

All of this was unseen from Roughside, all of it below the sloping shoulder of moorland that fell to the east. The Bower was visible to the southeast down in the valley where a tributary of the North Tyne flowed.  A reserved but friendly Forestry Commission manager and his wife lived there.  The wife apologized for having gone up just a few days before I arrived at Roughside, to pick ripe plums from the tree that stood against its south facing walls.  One day, I watched the manager shoot a hare with a shotgun near his house.  The hare had been nibbling at bulbs or other precious things in his garden shed.  A still inhabited farm lay another mile farther on to the southeast beyond the Bower up the slope on the other side of the valley.   Its occupants, a farmer and his wife, kept aloof from the new tenant of Roughside, me.   On a dark night, the stark floodlight on a barn next to their farm would be the only light in the landscape.  

On foot, access to Roughside from The Bower was via a seldom used footpath that was shown on the Ordnance Survey map of the area.  This started at a farm gate past The Bower near the spot where the manager shot the hare.   That gate needed to be opened and closed by anybody proceeding in either direction on the forestry commission road.    Once through this gate, a walker then went across a large field where a herd of cows generally grazed, sometimes with a bull amongst them, until another gate was reached on the far side of the field.  The traveler then passed through this gate and after fording a stream was confronted by moorland that had been planted with young conifers.  Ditches had been dug across the moor as part of this effort.  Rather than attempt to follow the path suitable for a horse-drawn cart, or Land Rover as it curved away to the west in a slow arc to the north up towards Roughside, it was better to head straight up towards the old farmhouse keeping to one side of remnants of a dry-stone wall.  By Land Rover, the driver would attempt to follow the original path, the horse track, that was shown on the map.  The Forestry Commission had been careful not to intersect this ancestral right of way with their drainage ditches.  In time, a forest would grow up to totally obscure the hillside and obliterate the beauty of the open moors.

Having gained the sanctuary of Roughside, it was possible to look back and see where a car had been parked, about a mile to the south next to a cattle-grid.  To the west of the cattle-grid, a mature forest of firs began with trees that were already twenty feet or more tall.  This forest was visible a mile in the distance looking down from Roughside.   As the eye traveled to the right, the forest was soon obscured by the rise of Roughside Moor to the west.   Beyond the forest and slightly southwest on top of a faraway hill on the other side of the valley was a stone cairn large enough to be visible from Roughside three or four miles away as the crow flies.  To the rear of Roughside, over the brow of its sheltering hill, to the north was more open moorland, also a newly planted forest.   Several miles walk to the north was the neighboring hill farm of Smales.   Some would have thought this a desolate spot.  I loved it. 

Until one day, some years later, in 1972, I arrived to find a letter from the bank manager pinned to the front door asking me to call on him in Bellingham, where Barclays had a branch.  I did not go to see him.  But I stopped attempting to live at Roughside after that.  I took a job working as a computer programmer in London and paid off my Barclaycard.


Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                       2024


Tuesday, June 4, 2024

 Wyoming Coal


So passer-by come sit by me and hear my tale
don't heed the screech of that mocking jay
in the pay of those that put Wyoming up for sale
mining coals to send to China to speed dismay 
coming our way when high rains
pour on parchéd dirt
worn out by grazing and ceaseless drought 
flash floods mudslides and fire, 
when high tides erode our beaches 
wash away our waterfronts.
Tell me stranger what more can we do
to hasten our demise?
Shall we send more trains?  Please explain 
our assisted suicide, 
interstate commerce as far as it goes
then over to Canada to repose
in a carrier bound for China all 
Wyoming's best coal at a premium price
a profitable deal and Wyoming
is far now from the coast.

Those more pious living in the East
believing water springs for their own good
demanding from us who live out West
some sober sacrifice be made like youth…
that we should sacrifice children to their god
to profit warren buffet routing coal trains past
our borders of commonsense   oil trains too
that sometimes explode traveling too fast…

A mile of best coal from Wyoming stripped
on its way to China for our climate suicide…
we sold our coal for a song and a dance
at the stock exchange bell at risk of a knell…
technology that could save us we hesitate to give
afraid their AI will toll our own bell
we'll let our AI advance with a watermark strip
showing its status acclaimed world's best liar.

Or walk on then don't sit awhile but hear my song...
we should spend more to make more
creating a world that’s peaceful and secure
not routing coal trains for evermore.


               Dick Russell, Richard M Russell
                      copyright © 2024
                      Richard M Russell








Thursday, May 30, 2024

In the Space Between the Words



These brand-new pages seen at glance
I've made into wheely bins for words
left on the page un-erased juxtaposed
with blank space where it's easy to suppose
a cloudy morn with prospects brightening
a morning when hoped for news may arrive
coincident with sunshine glistening
in puddles drying rippled by a summer breeze

Though I've stained these pages with symbols 
I can still time travel through blank space 
to a point orbiting blue planet Earth 
close enough to see it teeming with tribes
driven always to compete by their DNA
seen up close there's still white space
inside the lines where unwashed words
will waste their meaning until transcribed

digitized translated typed these travel
to find their own way through open cyberspace 
landing where they may to instruct all sides
with words we know will be ignored
ideas we know will be suppressed
conclusions we know will be called lies
will what’s left of planet Earth be livable?
after drones and robots unimaginable.



Dick Russell © Richard M Russell
                     May 30, 2024






Sunday, May 26, 2024

 How It Is: A Memoir


I was in Long Beach, California in 2009.  The expert from the software company that sold software for Computer-Aided Engineering was on a riff.  “It’s no longer good enough to use fudge factors, safety margins, guess estimates when doing a preliminary design of a new product: a car, an aircraft, a consumer product.  Make computer simulation an integral part of your design process.  It’s time to get closer to reality!”   He then explained how both Boeing and Airbus had suffered long delays in the 787 and A380 projects, because design engineers had not taken an integrated approach to simulation, had relied on outdated methods that worked in the past, but were no longer relevant for modern aircraft designs using composite materials.

Yes, if only they had been smarter, I mused.  The 787 would have been flying by now instead of suffering interminable delays.  Boeing would be delivering these new airliners, not having to accept cancelled orders.  Perhaps I could have flown on one coming back from a recent trip to Asia.  I had visited Korea, China, Vietnam and India on business.  My flight from Bangalore to Frankfurt on a Lufthansa Boeing 777 in coach had been particularly uncomfortable.  I'd been unlucky not to get an upgrade to business class.  Would the 787 provide more legroom?   I was very impressed by Jet Blue.  I’d flown on an Airbus 320 down to Long Beach, California from Seattle, and marveled at the legroom provided in coach.  If only international flights would offer the same space.

I had stayed on the Queen Mary because most of the hotels in Long Beach were fully booked.  When I had stayed there before, some twenty-five years before, with my wife and two young children, we had seen a cockroach in our cabin.  No such luck this time.  I enjoyed having time to circumnavigate the ship on its various decks.  It was while I was on the sundeck enjoying the balmy Long Beach evening air that Nigel had reached me on my cell phone.  What had prompted Mr. Nguyen to call Nigel?  Nigel was like a modern Diogenes, going around Asia with lamp upraised, looking for an honest man.  Perhaps he had found one in Mr. Nguyen.

While we were in Vietnam, one of the meetings that the reseller had organized for us was with the major oil & gas company in Vietnam.  Two representatives of this company had flown up especially from Ho Chi Minh City, formerly Saigon, to discuss their computing requirements.  The meeting had gone well.  Now it appeared that Mr. Nguyen, the interpreter, had alerted Nigel to some unseemly relationship he suspected between our reseller and the prospective customer.

Apparently, Long Beach was hosting a convention of California Business Women.  That morning, a taxi driver told me that there were 15,000 women registered.  We had driven by the Convention Center that morning.  Sure enough, large groups of women appeared to be converging.  At the meeting I was attending, only one woman, of Asian descent, was in the audience of about forty people, presumably all engineers.  Women did not appear to be very evident in Computer-Aided Engineering in the U.S.  In China and Vietnam, I noted to myself, women were key members of the management at two of our resellers, and women had featured prominently among the customers we visited.  Today’s meeting had been advertised as taking place in the historic landmark Madison Restaurant in downtown Long Beach.  When I got to the Madison that morning, I was redirected across the street to a sister restaurant, L’Opera.  A film crew was using the Madison as a set for a movie to be tentatively called: “Dinner with Idiots.”  I looked wistfully across the street at the production crew.  At least half of them were women.

After thirty years, I had become cynical about my sales role in the computer industry.  At the beginning, I truly believed in the benefits that powerful, expensive supercomputers would bring.  “If you want to study the moon,” I told people, “Isn’t it better to use a large telescope rather than give everybody a pair of binoculars.”    I was proud of the achievements my customers had made.  Typical of them was Paul Rubbert and his team at Boeing.  They had shown via simulations run on a Cray supercomputer that it was possible to position an aircraft engine up and forward of a wing’s leading edge.  To get Boeing’s new designs off the ground larger engines were needed.  Paul Rubbert told me that it had been an unwritten rule that engines had to hang underneath the wing.  Without that breakthrough in design, bigger engines would have been scraping the tarmac.  I thought about Paul’s work every time I flew on a Boeing airliner.

I was philosophical now because, whereas the breakthroughs I had witnessed owed much to the purpose-built nature of the supercomputers I sold, purpose-built supercomputers appeared to have gone the way of the dinosaurs.   Almost all supercomputers made then, and today are based on commodity microprocessors designed by Intel or AMD and/or NVIDIA.   Our foreign competitors would not have to work very hard to design competing systems.  They would just have to buy chips produced in factories in places like China and Malaysia.  The systems I had once sold were now museum pieces.  In fact, I was scheduled to attend a similar meeting as today’s, which was being held in the Computer History Museum in Mountain View near San Francisco.  Prominently displayed in the lobby would be a Cray-1 supercomputer, the same type of machine that Paul Rubbert’s team had used.

The theme of the meeting I attended appeared to be that no excuses needed to be made now for computer simulation.  Computer simulation was so good that regulatory agencies were going to insist that manufacturers use it.  The simulation tools were only going to get better with even more fidelity and an ability to couple multi-physics, such as when designing cars, simulating suspensions, rolling tires on a bumpy road and the comfort of passengers inside a vehicle.  I mused on this.  If only one could use a supercomputer to predict what was going to happen in life.   Could simulation deal with matters like inadvertently working for a crooked company.  I doubted it.  It remains true that “you learn from experience!”  

In the job I was hoping to accept, I would no longer be selling supercomputers.  The Battelle Memorial Institute is a major, not-for-profit, research organization.  A typical Battelle scientist cost Battelle about $300,000 a year to maintain, back then.  My job would be to help connect such scientists working on renewable energy, carbon sequestration, climate studies and related fields with more funding sources.  Nigel was fond of talking about “a race against time” as the reason why customers should invest in supercomputers.  In my new job, I would be helping to accelerate R&D that was focused on trying to slow climate change, a true race against time.

Kendall Square Research (KSR) was the ill-fated startup I had joined after spending fourteen years at Cray Research.  The bulk of their funding had come from Bill Koch, the billionaire winner of the Americas Cup.  After things fell apart at KSR, Bill Koch took the helm.  Wisely so, as he had deep pockets.  Investor lawsuits were piling up with his personal fortune as their target.   I had received a contract from Battelle for a KSR purpose-built supercomputer.  A group at Battelle had developed a set of software tools called Global Arrays that facilitated computational science.  Much of the work was subsequently carried out on the KSR supercomputer I had sold them.  Now, Global Arrays software tools are widely used in computational chemistry applications used to develop new materials and drug molecules.  Back in the mid 1990’s, Bill Koch had flown into the Tri-Cities to visit Battelle.  A gentleman of the old school, he had given them the option of cancelling their order if they were uncomfortable about proceeding with a company so badly tainted as we now were.  A widely read recent article in the Wall Street Journal had been particularly damning.  But Battelle still wanted our machine.  Its special design offered great attractions for the development of Global Arrays.  This had been a major competitive win for me.  We had beaten IBM on this deal. 

The young IBM salesman who opposed me at Battelle, was Peter Ungaro.   Later in his career, Peter Ungaro had been recruited by our Board of Directors to become the CEO of the third startup I had worked for, a Seattle-based company called Tera that had bought the assets of Cray Research from SGI and renamed the resulting company, Cray Inc.  I had been blissfully unaware of our prior history until pointedly reminded of it on the first occasion when I had an interaction with our new executive leader.  This points out a moral.  Be careful whom you outsell in business.  You may end up working for that very person one day.  By taking Battelle’s offer, I would be putting all of this history behind me and starting anew.  

A medical doctor was now giving a very interesting presentation on how to use computer simulation to better design prosthetic legs.  He showed some videos of a double leg amputee patient skiing downhill on prosthetic legs that were instrumented with sensors to collect stress and loading information that could be fed back into the design process to further refine the design.  I am somewhat of a late bloomer, I thought.   I had taken up skiing in my early sixties.  Now that I was fully enrolled in Medicare, instead of retiring I was about to embark on a new career.  
My pending job offer was being delayed while a degree exception form was passed around Battelle management for signatures.  If I had stayed the course, when I was enrolled in a part-time degree program at the University of London, this would have been unnecessary.  I had dropped out of taking courses because I was convinced, I wanted to write poetry full-time.  My early work in the computer industry had financed a couple of years of freedom to write poetry, but, as Mr. Micawber predicted, spending one penny more than you earn on a regular basis is a sure path to bankruptcy.  I was spending several pennies, if not hundreds of pennies for every penny earned!  I remembered my bravado in telling people at the time that all a poet needed to survive was his voice!  I was full of notions about medieval poets wandering the courts of Europe and singing for their supper.  It was ironic that I had become a successful salesman perhaps because of a convincing voice.

Sometimes disparate events occur almost simultaneously and assume a psychological significance.  As I got ready to leave Cray, it seemed these synchronicities were starting to pile up.  For example, on the same day that I told Cray I was leaving to take a job at Battelle’s Pacific Northwest National Laboratory (PNNL), Inderjit Badhwar sent me an e-version of Gfiles. The cover story of this issue of Gfiles concerned setting up a national gas grid in India.  A quick glimpse at the archive showed that the magazine was tackling many of the same national security, energy policy and clean energy issues that I would be concerned with in my new job at PNNL.   A good omen, I thought, thinking of the metal statuette of Ganesh, a Hindu god associated with new beginnings, that I had acquired in Bangalore on my last trip, hopeful that Ganesh would help me successfully transition from Cray to PNNL. 
  “We be of one blood, ye and I.”  Mowgli’s master words to use in the jungle when encountering potentially hostile animals were taught him by Baloo, the bear.  When I was young, my master words to survive in life situations were taught me by people like Indi Badhwar.   Indi considers Rudyard Kipling to be a great Indian writer, no matter that Kipling was born and bred in England.  I was born and bred in England and admire Kipling’s work, especially the Jungle Book.  We be of like mind, Indi and I, and, of like age.  I first met Indi, years ago in New York, when he was a married student at Columbia School of Journalism, and we lived in the same apartment house.  From a warrior caste of maharajahs, his upper-class behavior was a great influence on me, the son of a British Army soldier, who had once served in India, and a domestic servant, once a maid to a lady-in-waiting at Buckingham Palace.   Indi’s noisy confrontations with the landlady we shared in New York were a great inspiration.  

Another synchronicity, on the very same day that I heard from Indi, Shambhu Singh contacted me by email from exile in his new post somewhere in Nagaland, India.  When I first met Shambhu, he was an official in the Indian Civil Service’s Department of Science and Technology.  He asked me if I had read George Orwell’s Burmese Days.  I had not.   You must read it, Shambhu had said.  That book, even though published in the 1930s, would provide a very good description of Nagaland, his home State, even today.  If Shambhu had intended me to see the story as one about class distinctions and corruption in colonial India, I saw instead, when I read the book soon thereafter, a parallel between the protagonist who commits suicide out of despair and Shambhu himself, who, threatened with having to leave a prestigious post in New Delhi and return to his home State, was drinking heavily. 

Whenever I think of Shambhu, I remember his patent method for disposing of files.  In the Indian Civil Service, a file is the key unit of governance.  To hear that a file has “moved” or “is moving” is blissful news to anybody depending upon a decision or an outcome related to that file.   Such files start with perhaps a single sheet enclosed in a cardboard folder tied with a colorful red ribbon.  They grow to be bulging reams of paper as the Indian bureaucracy processes the file.   During our first meeting, I watched Shambhu append his signature to a page that already had collected several others.  It seemed that this file was destined to be passed on for further review to a long list of as yet unsigned names.  Then he closed the file, tied the ribbon that enclosed its bulging contents with an elegant bow, lifted it from his desk, and tossed it in a slow ponderous, practiced trajectory that arced across his office and culminated with the floorboards not far from the door.  Several other files had already been tossed over in that direction and lay scattered against the wall where a minion would come to remove them.  I observed all this with interest.  Overhead a large fan slowly circled.  A fly buzzed around a plate of Indian cookies that had been brought in to accompany hot tea.  The muted cacophony of Indian road traffic could be heard in the distance.   Shambhu put on his jacket and then, as it was nearing 5pm, we left to go get a drink.  

On my most recent trip to India, one of our resellers had talked about having a project with the State Police in Nagaland.  This had to do with software to manage phone taps authorized by a magistrate.  The phone companies involved would make electronic copies of any phone conversation associated with certain phone numbers.  That same reseller also wanted to use our technology to study social networks.   On returning to the U.S., I attended a conference, just before I left Cray, where a distinguished American Professor, David Bader, addressed this very topic.  People in the audience had laughed when he began his presentation showing his online Facebook page.  They were puzzled after he clicked on the Facebook statistics icon to show that over 300 million people with accounts on Facebook might be online at that moment.  Then he described how his research was developing software that could monitor trends through an analysis of Facebook traffic.  Such software could also show relationships between the kinds of people who were prone to set off bombs in places like Nagaland.

Coincidentally, on the same day I gave notice at Cray, I was scheduled to visit PNNL.  A Cray CX1 computer system I had sold them had problems.  The problems, in the main, resulted from Cray’s decision to outsource both the design and manufacturing of the CX1 line of computers, supposedly a server that was quiet enough to house in a office environment, and its warranty support to third parties.  The word “outsourcing” conjures, usually bad, memories of phone conversations with foreign-sounding employees of help desks.  But it was to Canadian and US firms that Cray had entrusted its good brand name.

Cray had ordered some of these CX1 systems for its own internal use in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin.   Chippewa Falls is where Cray has its roots.  It was the home of the legendary supercomputer designer, Seymour Cray, who founded the original Cray Research back in 1972.  If there is one place on the planet where you don’t want to expose shoddy computer design, it is Chippewa Falls.  Somebody had quickly noticed that the Cray-branded CX1 equipment shipped from the Canadian supplier had an Underwriters Lab (UL) safety certification “pending” sticker where the normal UL certification plate should be.  After due diligence, it was discovered that the supplier had not even begun the process of UL safety certification even though they had been shipping the equipment for about six months. Were they hoping that “UL Pending” would be good enough to last for the product’s normal life?  Once noticed, a six-month long process was begun to get the product properly certified.  In the meantime, Cray had frozen shipments of the CX1 except in cases where a customer, like PNNL, had an urgent need for the system and was prepared to accept what was now called an “engineering sample”.   During the ensuing safety certification process insisted on by Cray, it was discovered that changes needed to be made to every chassis and to every blade in each chassis, ever shipped.  These changes constituted a logistical and support nightmare!  

It was now the turn of the third-party support company to show its stuff.   Local contractors, hired for the occasion, were going to each customer site to replace uncertified parts and to overlay the UL Pending tags with ones saying UL Certified.  Their success rate was about 50%.  For every system they fixed, they left another one broken.  To my mind, depending on contractors hired for the day to carry out the maintenance was akin to picking up day laborers from the parking lot outside Home Depot and expecting them to do sophisticated work without training!  In PNNL’s case, the contractors had been onsite on three separate occasions.  They were not being invited back.   A skilled Cray technician and I were now going over to PNNL in hopes of fixing the problems and returning PNNL’s system to productive use. 

The day I gave notice was also the day when the fourteenth anniversary of my joining Cray was announced at the weekly Company meeting.  This was my second fourteen-year stint at Cray. During my first fourteen years there, I had grown disenchanted with Cray Research’s arrogance about what customers needed and what customers, like Boeing, actually wanted to buy.   The era of very expensive, purpose-built supercomputers was ending as systems based on mass-produced microprocessors took over.  Back then, I had organized a visit to Cray HQ by the head of Boeing’s mathematical science group, Al Erisman.  He had given a keynote address to the Cray management team and explained how Boeing saw merit in, and needed access to, systems based on powerful microprocessors; and he pointed out, Cray’s purpose-built systems were falling behind.  At the time, Cray’s management team was unreceptive.  Seymour Cray had left Cray some years before to start a competing company.  Another key designer, Steve Chen, had spun off his own supercomputer startup company together with ex-Cray colleagues.  Exciting new organizations such as Intel’s supercomputer division, Thinking Machines and NCUBE were taking business away from Cray.  Cray management was offended that Boeing was closely monitoring both Seymour’s new startup and Steve Chen’s efforts and dismayed that Boeing was consulting with the Japanese company, NEC, one of Cray’s competitors. They were also offended that key Government customers had stopped buying big Cray systems and were instead buying large systems from Intel and Thinking Machines.  Despite mounting evidence to the contrary, for the next several years, Cray would continue to insist that the so-called “massively parallel” systems built using microprocessors could not compete with the purpose-built high bandwidth systems that Cray produced.

On the same day that I gave notice, an email was sent out to all Cray employees asking them to complete a survey and contribute their views about what Cray, as a company, could do to recapture the spirit of innovation for which the company had once been famous.  Implicit in this was the widely held view that Cray was no longer an innovative company.   

Now it’s 2024.  Cray was acquired by HPE.  I got a degree in Classics while working for PNNL in a collaboration at the University of Washington.  I am now working at Trovares Inc. a small startup company commercializing software developed at PNNL.  It’s purpose-built software for graph analytics that simulates a supercomputer (like Burton Smith's machine - but that is another story).  Just as in 2009, Boeing is having quality control issues.  The new big thing is Generational AI.  A chatbot will be our co-pilot as we go on.   Self-driving cars will transport us.  A metaverse will surround us.  Computers have come on.

END


Remembering Roughside   A shiny wet slate roof was purple steaming to dry blue.  There was the sound of water dripping from a broken waste p...